The river

I'm going to the river and there i'm going to swim until i sink.
i've been drowning here forever.
so, it won't make a difference to me.
Don't you see what the buzz is?
Look at me.
i am nothing but a need to reach you.
If i don't go to the river i'm going to crawl into a hole and fill me in.
this thing will suffocate me.
so, you see, the only difference is when.
I don't know what the trick is.
Look at me. i am nothing but a need to reach you.
I've waited so long that i can smell the rotting of my brain and
i'm shaking and i'm stammering and tasting the sting of my failure.
Look at me.
i am nothing but a need to reach you.
look at me i am nothing but a need, this need.
Everyday i see rage in the mirror.
it's dripping from me;
throbbing through me.
i can't be any clearer
and i can see it right there.
it's on my wall and it's frightening me.